Showing posts with label consumption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consumption. Show all posts

Monday, March 4, 2013

What I do in private hurts nobody (shrug)














 Last week I had the opportunity to attend a training by Rachel LLoyd of GEMS in NYC.  GEMS is a program that rescues and restores girls who have been trafficked in the domestic sex trade here in the US.  Social Workers have come up with an acronym for these minors.  They are called CSEC which stands for Commercially Sexually Exploited Children.  The term CSEC is new on me, but it turns out that my work with this population is nothing new.  I worked with them off and on throughout my career but most intensively from 1995-1999 at the Florence Crittenton Center in Los Angeles.  Crittenton was a locked treatment facility for girls in the system who for all intents  and purposes had nowhere else to go.  I was the vocational counselor and Independent Living Coordinator whose job it was to help the girls prepare for their eventual independence.  I was charged with pre-vocational job readiness and some life skills development.  Anyway, Rachel Lloyd's training really took me back to a few years.  

Below is an excerpt of my response to developments I see taking place in the anti human-trafficking movement.  One common excuse consumers of commercial sex use to justify their behavior is "I'm not hurting anyone."  That, sadly, is an excuse most of us use in some form or another through denial:

"Disclaimer:  The following pertain to my personal and professional philosophy about sexuality and in no way ought to be taken as reflective of our ministy's mission in treating women and girls who have been victimized.  Presently, many programs in existence, including the one in development at our ministry, focus on crucial/essential case management and life skill development, employment, community, support, accountability, relapse prevention, housing, etc.  Such programs tend to be informed - rightly so - by feminist ideologies in empowerment of young women by creating opportunity, by addressing self-esteem and trauma. Their essential focus is on rescue and treatment of victims/survivors ie the "supply" side of what we recognize as a commercial endeavor. 

As an outpatient provider presently, my objective within  "the movement" is treatment of so-called "adult entertainers" of all ages.  My understanding of the problem of sexual exploitation is holistic. I specialize in helping folks resolve bad/horrifying  memories, including those that involve sexuality.  Most of the time these memories impact their ability to trust and form enduring bonds with others.  That is primarily my focus/area of expertise/specialization though it applies generally to a wide range of symptoms and lifestyles.  Being a sole proprietor in private practice affords me the opportunity to  keep a broad focus on intervention, treatment and prevention/awareness/education.  I am able to treat CSEC via VOC funding. I also have access to other avenues of funding so that I may treat those who've aged out of the system or who've never been tracked within the system.    My work is always very trauma and attachment informed as well as strengths-based.

Trauma is my area of specialization.  My marketing materials were written to a hypothetical traumatized woman in her late twenties/early thirties suffering from depression and unstable relationships including rape and domestic violence.  That was my target audience.  Those who responded to that marketing and have subsequently come through my door were individuals - men and women-  trying to make relationships work particularly after some form of betrayal.  Working with CSEC (though they've only recently come to be identified as such) early on has lain an unmistakable foundation for the individual/couples work I now do.  High emotional reactivity and hostile engagement are often what - like CSEC - characterize these people's relational constellations.  My self-directed training program (Continuing education credits) has consisted of honing up on Couples therapy - specifically with a focus on helping clients overcome infidelity and sex addiction.  I follow professionally those who are involved in sex therapy, couples' therapy and treatment of compulsive disorders.

One thing Rachel Lloyd cautioned about was the "movement's" emphasis on rescuing "little girls" and locking up "bad men." My thoughts below are in process.  Yet, I think they might introduce some things that would be of vital consideration for the task force and others in the movement. 

While I am invested in providing practical support to victims as mentioned above, I hope I can begin to illuminate just how far-reaching into our collective psyche the issue of exploitation is. Below my intent is to expand the question from specific to more general in hopes of sparking more thought and dialogue about how to identify and address interconnected/inter-systemic specifics.  Service providers need to address specific needs of particular populations, but the interconnectedness of these populations prompts the necessity of dialogue between systems. I hope to ask questions, raise considerations towards the objective of shifting some of the collective values we hold.  Such is very arduous work, I know, but nonetheless urgently to be considered. 

What I perceive lacking in the confrontation of sexual exploitation as a problem in our country is an equally holistic answer to the issue of "demand,"  that is to say users/consumers/johns.  When something is bought and sold - commodified - what we are talking about is supply and demand.  If  values/consciences tells us that certain things, particularly "things" like people, girls, innocence, freedom, sexuality,  ought never to be commodified then our task becomes one about undoing a whole lot of messaging that turns  some people into products and other people into consumers.  My awareness/philosophy has been evolving lately to weigh out the messages of not only feminism  but also masculism, consumerism and a few other "isms".  In my opinion the tendency to over-criticize patriarchy for bearing the responsibility for injustice leads to having a blind spot in trying to undo injustice.  Consider, in a truly patriarchal society, aren't men as responsible for promoting freedom and justice as they  would be for enslaving?  Perhaps narcissism - and messages in the broader culture which disconnect individuals from responsibility for self and to others -  is as much to blame.    Injustice - to men as well as to women occurs due to plethora "archys" and "isms." Absolutely - 100% in agreement that the consequences of both supplying and demanding (as in the case of pimps and johns) need to be tough.  Once you've decided to abuse/rape a child - whether you think you're entitled because you've paid for it, even if she's sending you strong messages of being willing or not - once you crossed that line, of course the consequences should chill you to the bone.  Nonetheless, we live in an increasingly marketed to and sexualized world where, as the feminists are so apt to point out, sex sells.  It is hardly a leap to imagine that if sex sells, then sex itself ought to become commodified and available for purchase (or download) when I need it or want it.  We live in a world also where marketing has itself turned us, people who would otherwise be content with having enough, into dissatisfied hungry impulsive aquirers, consumers.  As such we are mostly disconnected from the roots of the products we use in general.  In the US in particular, our existences have become defined by convenience, comfort, avoidance of pain and indulgence.  As a whole, we no longer consider the raw materials, the labor, the process of production, the miles over which good must travel, the networks or conditions of people who contribute in the production of goods we consume.  The reality of sweat shops and fatal factory fires is nothing but a conceptual distant reality.  We are concerned only with it being low priced, well-made and looking good on us, or what have you.  The disconnect from the humanity of the producers and service providers we use is not unique to the johns/other consumers of sexual exploitations.  It is a societal ill we all are more or less infected with.    Hedonism is a value encouraged in our world, particularly as it is framed as essential to our commercial well-being even in contributing to a healthy economy.  The powers that be stand to benefit from our dissatisfaction and would thus not encourage us to learn to "make do."  Taking such a radical message back to the board of supervisors would have broad adverse implications in our political and social environment.  That is because it presents not only a challenge to the choices of a "handful" of sexually perverse or criminalized individuals and to those who deal with them, such as law enforcement and social service providers.  This message presents a core challenge to the American way of life that we have grown accustomed to.  Not to say more people should go without, but it might be beneficial to begin to help us all examine whether acquisition of more and more truly leads to greater life satisfaction.  Upon closer examination, it leads to increasing abuses.

While social service agencies and law enforcement have typically been the ones charged with rectifying social problems, it occurs to me that some of the ones best poised currently to address the demand side of the commercial sex trade are addictionologists, faith based communities and possibly sex/couples' therapists (so long as the aforementioned can appreciate exploitation as such.)   Spiritual leaders, in particular, have a charge with challenging the status quo.  They also tend to have a large listening audience.  However - for reasons I wont get into here - spiritual leaders have their own challenges in overcoming a culture of consumption/consumerism.  Nonetheless, I believe well-informed church leaders stand to have significant impact on persuading and challenging masses of people to become aware of human exploitation and its direct relation to consumption.  Also, within faith based community, there is often opportunity for community, housing, employment and other practical needs.  These things are, due to the nature of faith-based organizations, often provided to victims at significantly lower cost to the public as well.  Hopefully, there are some spirititual leaders in participation with the task force.  I will be staying in close communication with my pastoral staff as I participate in this endeavor becuase there is true interest among my friends in faith to help the poor,  to free slaves, and to generally open people's eyes to destructive blind spots."

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Odd intersections



It's been several months, so I guess an update is in order.  The latest in this endeavor to uphold masculinity has taken an interesting turn in that I am now involved in outreach and ongoing counseling to girls who are in or coming out of the Sex Industry.  An email I composed to my network of close friends says it best:


"My friends, I know I said I would update you as things develop.  But they are actually developing quite rapidly so I haven't been able to really get the word to you unless I've seen you.  M and S  have seen my excitement a little bit. 

You know how I (privately) sent a link about Christians ministering by going into the sex industry  areas where people are trafficked?  Well, be aware that one international activist, Danielle Strickland, who does just that will be our weekend speaker at the Vineyard on November 17 and 18. 
I was able to get in touch with the local outreach to sex workers ministry here.  I was able to attend their training - as were others from the Vineyard, because God enabled me to get the word out.  Bless him for his faithfulness that he HAS begun to send workers into the harvest.  There are others who wanted to attend the training but were not able, so we will see what we can do about publicizing the next one to be held in the spring.  I have had a meeting and loads of encouragement from one of our staff pastors.  The local outreach is called Cherished and is modeled after Treasures.  http://iamatreasure.com/

They have an amazingly gracious and restorative approach to women in the sex "industry."    The local ministry has been looking for a therapist to co-facilitate their support groups, so I'd appreciate your prayer about that. 

I have been able to connect with a local man  who is spearheading the prevention/awareness/education aspect of anti-human trafficking here.  He has just arrived from Thailand with this being an area of heartfelt concern.  He has the statistics that some 300 girls in Palmdale are being trafficked - so this is a big deal here in our community.  He is starting from the ground but seems to be very good at networking. 

I am excited and energized about very obvious moves of God that I am seeing. 

Nobody was able to show up that one Monday to close out "For Women Only"  - the main reason we haven't finished the book together.  After summer, it just was impossible to coordinate our schedules. 

My expectation has been that the group would start off with you, women I feel safe with and accountable to.  However, I have only seen that as a starting point to validate men.  I didn't set out to make it a marriage group or focus exclusively on sex.  Oddly - I can't get away from the intersection of spirituality and sex, but that is not the point.  I have a sensitivity to cultural influences of "castration" ie having a form of godliness but denying its power. I believe men (surprise!) do too.  (smile)  If I as a woman don't like to feel emasculated, I can't imagine what it's like for the guys.  That has been my frame of reference since starting the group.  It has been the basis for my sometimes overbearing insistence that forms of worship are not as important as making bridges that draw people into the heart of worship.  Sometimes, that means going back to the drawing board of how we conceptualize what church is, or who it is.  I've been thinking that becoming a home a haven where you guys can bring your husbands and just hang out over a drink (whatever your choice and faith allows) to discuss ideas of culture and faith would be a great adjunct to participation in the larger organization.  We exist as the church at different levels of organization.  Both more and less organized, I mean.  God is challenging me to learn hospitality to a greater extent.  With the holidays fast approaching, Roger and I have been talking about doing Crazy Love (Francis Chan) after the new year, like on Mondays, but we can look at Thursdays, too as time gets closer.  We'll let you know when we set a date.

Love and miss you all!!!"
At this point, I believe we will aim to  reconvene group, hospitality, fellowship in the month of March.  Stay tuned. . .